We all have these moments of self-doubts when we’re about to do something scary. “Am I really good enough, or should I just wait before showing up?” It happens A LOT when we start a new project, or when we face new clients, new business partners. In fact, these thoughts will keep happening throughout our life as long as we keep doing new things. I haven’t met a single person who isn’t doubting their worth at some point or another.
So how do we deal with this voice that keeps asking “Am I really good enough” when we are about to face a client for the first time?
We let it speak. It’s here for a good reason: it’s trying to protect us from a perceived danger.
Some mornings we feel so overwhelmed and excited at the thought of what we’re about to do. When we meet a client for the first time, we want to make the business meeting amazing, an out-of-this-world experience. We want to wow them. And because of these feelings we put so much pressure on ourselves. Pressure to be perfect. Pressure to impress someone.
All of this pressure is so unnecessary. It keeps our heads spinning, worrying about what will they think about me?, and what if they find out I’m not as good as they thought?
What if we impressed others just by being who we are? Being ourselves (with all our imperfections) is enough. We don’t need to torture ourselves with useless pressure and thoughts. We only need to show up the way we are. Nothing more. We don’t need to overthink and have a crazy plan for the meeting. Things will unfold naturally. The right words and ideas will come in their own time. We don’t need tons of pressure and judgmental thoughts. We are good enough for them because we are good enough for ourselves. Being who we are is enough.
Trying to be perfect or control what someone else thinks about us is setting ourselves up for failure. There is no such thing as a perfect human being on the planet. It just doesn’t exist. So what if we gave ourselves permission to make mistakes and say the wrong things? Trying to control what others think about ourselves is always making us feel miserable. The truth is we have NO CONTROL over how we are seen. But what we can decide is: how do I want to see myself? Showing up like this is enough.
In the end, what is in our power to control?
When I feel the doubts creeping in, I write myself small notes to help. Here they are:
I decide to let go of control,
I decide to let go of the pressure,
I decide to let go of feeling not good enough for my client.
Instead, I give myself permission to try,
I give myself permission to enjoy the meeting, and have fun talking to another human being,
I give myself permission to show up the way I am, and to mess up,
I give myself permission to say the words that matter to me.
Being me is enough.
When we do this exercise, we own our mistakes and reclaim our own power. What stories can you tell yourself to give you courage when you need it?